Having been at my new community college for a few days now, I am having a real issue with being able to fit in effortlessly. Everyone else seems to have known each other all their lives, yet I know they are all new to each other. I have always been a little slower in making friends tan most. But although it takes me a little time, I do get there in the end.
It is already happening I suppose, as when I was sitting alone having my lunch and trying to understand the essay editing assignment for a community college course, I was joined by two girls who introduced themselves to me. We then spoke for a whole hour, and we all seem to get on really well. They were better looking girls than me, but they had that really nice countryside way about them. They never swore, they never did the “me, me, me” bit. They seemed genuine in getting to know me and asking me questions.
I found out that they had both come to community college from their little town in the country. They had been friends for many years, and they also were having a few problems in making new friends too. This was an instant relief to me, as we are all girls together with the same problems. At least now I had people to talk to, and sit and eat with. I hate that pretense of rushing my food down and going off quickly. The pretense is I had nowhere to go quickly; I just did not want to sit at the table alone any longer.
The girls are Jane and Terri, and have been invited to a pool party on Friday from another friend at our 2 year community college. Now Jane and Terri were very slim, and I could see that they would have no problem looking great in a swimming costume or bikini. They told me there would be about 100 newbies there. As they said it would be a great Sunday afternoon event and we would all be bound to meet new people and have a “blast”. Of course they were right, and the invite was obviously extended to include me.
Here is the problem. I am slightly chubby, and I cover his by wearing flowing dresses and have long black hair. I do not think I am unattractive, but I would look like Miss Piggy next to Kermit with these girls. The thought of swimming in front of a hundred people feels me with fear. Yet I really want to go.
The more they spoke about it, the more I wanted to go and to hell with the fear of what people would think. So Terri asked me directly “Will I come?” My brain said “yes”, but my mouth said “NO. I really cannot I have urgent essay editing work to do for class”. As soon as those words came out I could have choked myself. The girls looked hurt, and instead of correcting myself, I continued to mumble further excuses to back up my error of judgment.
It is one day to go to the pool party. I still have not yet decided if I will go. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies in life, are we not?
What would you do?
About The Author:
Sally Overend did go to the pool party.
