I am not a Hypochondriac. I repeat I am not a Hypochondriac. But about once a year I get the worse colds ever. I use to call it flu until someone told me that the average human can only have flu a few times in their lifetimes, and as I have had it at least six times in six years I will have to assume I have a bad cold. A man cold of course.
When I get this debilitating problem I have to go to bed for at least two or three days. I it in my bed at home and my mum brings in the food and the medicine. She comes in and brings in regular drinks to keep me well. She also gets the cold compress for my forehead and arranges everything so I can lay and rest.
Of course man flu does allow the use of the games console and the TV too. The man flu cancels school (or work) and brings instant understanding from your all your male friends. So being ill at home means that you are totally looked after and safe in the bosom of your family and friends.
Last week at college it was all very different. The man flu came and I h bed. There was no food brought to me, no drinks and no care or attention. I do not even have a roommate to help turn the TV on and off (cannot find the remote control). Even the simple issue of getting some medicine required me texting a friend and promising to help him with his essay editing in order for him to go and get me some much needed medicines.
After day two I actually had to phone my mum. Sad huh! She really surprised me and told me I would not die and to get myself sorted out. Whatever happened to the sympathy vote? To add salt to the injury I was getting texts for not showing up at classes. No matter how much I told people how ill I was, not one person showed and care or attention to y plight. I was even running out of essential foods like noodles and beer.
Day three I realized that if I was going to get over this I would have to fend for myself. I got out of bed dressed in heavy clothing and pulled myself down to the cafeteria to force some of the “food” down me. I also went off campus to get some medicines. I felt really ill and had that awful headache. But as I passed people I know all they said is that they were glad to see I was feeling better. Whatever.
I decided I cannot be ill, so I just went back to my room and prepared for my class that afternoon and decided under duress to do my friends essay editing for all the hard work and care he gave me. Not.
About the Author
Paul Lewis had decided that he was not as ill as he first thought he was in the past. Fending for himself when sick is just not fun at all.